1 post tagged “nature”

I'm dreading prom. I just want to get it over with. At this point, it's just become something I "have" to do, like a class. Sure, I was the one who chose to sign up for the class in the first place, but that doesn't mean I'm excited to take the finals. Plus, I know I'd feel worse if I didn't go, as much pain as preparing for prom is bringing me.

Today I got shoes. First I found a pair at Ross. Ali brought them over and they fit and were okay, but they were a bit too strappy. For some reason, the way certain straps are on high heels kind of grosses me out. I like shoes that look like friendly, pretty houses for my feet, not shoes that looks like some sort of torture device. These shoes looked nice though, and they were cheap, so I got them.

Then we were in Petaluma at Kmart, and Ali wandered into the shoe section. She seriously has a problem with this. Any store, any time, she'll go to the shoe section and put on all the weirdest shoes she can find. I happened to find a pair of heels that had practically the exact same front design as the ones I already had, but minus the back strap. The heel is a bit thicker and overall the shoe is a bit comfier and better. I got them too, and brought both pairs home to my mom.

Immediately she pointed out the ones with the straps around the heel and said those would be better, because I could dance in them more easily. I said I don't dance, and she acted like I just said I was impregnated by an alien and I'd like to keep the baby. You'd think after all the dances, homecomings, etc, that I haven't attended, she would have figured that out by now. I tried to explain that no one danced anymore, they just humped each other to the beat of music.

I'm not girly. I like my shoes flat and tough, I like to be outdoors, I like creepy things like spiders and snakes, and I don't like dancing. I don't like dressing up, doing make-up, doing hair, or talking about any of that.

Against Ali's opinion, against my mom's opinion, against the shoes I know people will admire more, I'm going to pick the clunky, comfortable ones. Why would I put myself through the pain of the other shoes? To look good when no one's looking? To feel good when I could care less what I look like? No, I'll be ugly and feel better, thanks.