My pokemon cards bring all the boys to the yard.

If I wanted, I could have a date to prom. I was talking to Jessie today and she just couldn't imagine going without a date - even if she had to go with some strange, quiet boy. I know a few people I could've have asked and that might've said yes. There was one underclassmen who, when he heard I didn't have a date, said "I'd ask you if I could." And I was just like "Awh..............." Cue awkward silence. I just can't take things so lightly. This underclassman, he's a wonderful kid and I love him to death, but I don't really know him.

I just think it would be weird. I mean, why do I even deserve a date? Why the hell does anyone like me? It baffles me day to day when someone will out of the blue invites me somewhere. I really treat the people in my life like shit sometimes. I don't keep in touch, I forget to write thank you cards, and even when I really care about someone I'm too fucking scared to say anything about it. I used to really admire people who were "strong," which were basically emotionless, stone-people if you will.. but nowadays the people I really admire are the ones who cry in public, say what they feel, and fight for what they care about even if they look like the biggest idiots in the world doing it.

I'm really curious as to how I appear to other people. Once a few years ago someone told me I was intimidating, and I've never forgotten it. I'd rather be intimidating than just a shy loser, so I try to hold onto that one little comment and convince myself. Caitlin told me that before she knew me she thought I was going to be a weirdo. I was like uh, and how did meeting me disprove that at all?

Oh, okay, funny story.

Today I took allergy medicine before school, and when I got to English I was like about to die from how tired I was. I thought maybe it had to do with only getting 4 1/2 hours of sleep the night before, but even then I've never been this tired before. Like, I was sitting there trying really hard to listen to Berb because he was talking about AP test stuff, but I couldn't even keep my eyes open. It was really scary. Like, uncontrollable, almost.

So I came home early because on top of that I was really dizzy and didn't want to sit through a bunch of classes we weren't going to do anything in, and when I got home my mom said, "Dad says you've been staying up really late. If you can't get to sleep, you should just take some of those chewable allergy pills to help you sleep." I was like WHAT. THEY WERE NIGHT TIME. I should probably ask for help from someone who can actually read next time I overdose on children's medication, I think.

So yeah. I haven't really had a lot to post about.. I've sort of adopted my brother's neglected Gameboy Advance recently, because he's too cool for school and too cool to play Pokemon Emerald anymore. Seriously, fuck what people think. That game rocks. And having something to do during drama rehearsal is pretty awesome, too. ;D