Me as a collage.

Today Ms Mo asked if I'd be art club president in the case that Lizzie decides not to do it anymore. I only know that Lizzie and her haven't really been getting along for some reason. It seems like the reasons for the conflict are different on either side, but then again I don't know all that much and am not too interested in getting tangled up in it. I had a feeling that it would come to something like this, and a few times I wondered if I should just call an art meeting myself so we can actually get some things done, but that might have crossed boundaries that would get me tangled in that drama.

I can't tell you why she asked me. Ms Mo never gave me the impression that she really liked me. I don't think she really realizes how much I am trying in that class, because me trying is about the same as a normal person not doing anything. When people say nice things too much, it begins to seem fake, and that's the feeling I get from her sometimes. I don't know whether she likes me for me or whether she just wants to like me, wants to find a friend in me but keeps getting stopped by my lack of conversation skills.
 
Where do people get the idea that I'm fit to be a leader? I walk around with my eyes on the ground and my brain in the clouds and I don't say hi all the time, I'm disorganized and often lazy too, but every now and then someone walks out of the blue and asks me to be a stage manager or an art club president. I don't think I even look like a leader - some people kind of just have that look, you know? I just look like I don't see enough sun or know which end of a hairbrush to hold.

I can count my redeeming qualities on one hand, and that's on a good day, so sometimes I don't really know why I'm as lucky in life as I am. I guess it's all about timing. I'm just there, I'm always just around without really a purpose, so people can use me like a blank canvass for whatever they need at the moment. And that's who I am, just a bunch of paintings made by other people. I don't know how I feel about that.