Another year.

It's weird to think it's all over. I was just getting used to being a senior, and in a little over a week I'm not even going to be a high schooler anymore. Today I said to Lucas, "Hey, next year we're both going to be freshman!" and he laughed.

First of all, fuck yes! I am so ready to be done with this. Unbelievably ready. I think I was ready halfway through sophomore year. I'm not going to cry at graduation because I'm sorry but, I really didn't have fun in high school. I mean, freshman year was a roller coaster ride - scary, but fun in a thrilling way. Then I killed it during the summer, and no year of high school could ever compete. Sophomore year was okay. Cross country was fun that year and I did actually feel like I still had people I could trust and that liked me. Junior year was basically terrible, because on top all the tests and college prep pressures, I had a bunch of social drama to deal with which resulted in a big loss of trust in humankind altogether. So this year I've kept from getting attached. I viewed everything as if through the eyes of an observer, and really filtered out a lot of my emotions in place for logic. Logic works. I love it now.

Senior year itself wasn't so bad, but it really wasn't amazing either. I just did a lot of wisting for the past and craving for the future. There are individuals who have made this year tolerable and even something enjoyable - Maria, Akiko, Mica, Elliot are who I think of off the top of my head. The things I am going to remember fondly are trips to the city with my asians, practically living in the darkroom and partying with the photo kids on wednesdays and planting subliminal messages about megatron all throughout the classroom, going to ihop after musicals..

I'm so excited for Humboldt. I say it everyday, but I think about it everyday. I already know exactly where my room is, and I've actually found the facebooks of a few of the guys in the suite next to ours. I can't wait to live with my peers, to be able to go on runs in redwood forests whenever I want, to meet new people, to see the McKinnon clan whenever I want, to have a laptop, to take classes I care about, to be independent!

In other news, I'm totally exhausted and I still have that essay from hell (aka Berb's class) to write. Uggga.